https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151541762145610

words cannot convey the overwhelming love I feel watching this. Your true smile, your amazing body & mind working so hard. You are one determined mama & we are all crazy happy & excited for this moment!! Unbelievable babe. Love u so so much from us all :):) xxxx

Me & Jasper came over to see you briefly today to bring you some fruit & mainly because we saw a neenaw (ambulance) & Jaspey kept asking to "see Carly in the neenaw house!!" He was so sleepy from nursery but as soon as I said we were going to see you for a flying visit his energy perked up. He held tight to your pot of fruit we cut up together & off we went. Your still on Botolphs ward Acute stroke unit & there is just one other lady in your bay at the moment so it should be nice & quiet but unfortunatley some old guy (who totally stole your room for having diaharea) was extremely loud shouting, moaning & groaning & you had had to put up with it all night so you were pretty sleepy. Again huge news today. In physio you walked five steps forward & then five steps backwards!!!!!! AMAZING! Haha and theres Sam sayin to you just yesterday that walking to the toilet is a long term goal to look forward too, your like screw that I'll show them huh! Your so amazing babe & we are again so very proud & in tears of such hope & happiness for you. Shine bright....shine bright like a diamond!! :):)

When we arrived Lorraine, Alli, Lau & the kiddi's were with you. Evelyn was in a strop but cheered up massively once she saw her Jaspey boo. She invited him up on your bed to help open all your cards your mum had brought in. You had recieved these over the weeks at yours & ur mums house & they just kept coming!! So overwhelming how loved you are babe. Evelyn had been at nursery this morning & then with you after therapy but Lau & Lorraine said she was having a testing day, she will, & they understand. Its all consuming but you are doing such a good job still making sure she remembers her manners & kindness to make you proud.

 We only stayed a short time as you were tired & we were naughty actually & had come in at dinner time for you as I knew Jasper wouldnt last til after six without being grouchy. You has jascket potato & beans which seems to be a standard, Id like to say Id cook you meals & bring them in but I suck at cooking so going to look in brighton on Saturday for some Whole foods packs I can heat up & just bring to you hun. And im still on the hunt for those free from biscuits with coconut you asked for last week. You are having a visitor free night as you need your rest & Lorraine, Lau & Evelyn were coming back to you after you had had a moment to yourself so they could get smoosh some food in the cafe. Love u so much honey bunch, stay strong. You are doing so amazingly well & anyone I relay good news too is in such igh spirits & awe of your strengths gorgeous girl. We love you darling. Love & Light xxx

jaspey enjoying the statues outside hospital :)

 Last night we were asked to leave you be to become accustomed to the news of what Roger has done this week. Im sorry beyond belief that we couldnt tell you sooner & we all feel so terrible that we have been forced to lie to you but I know you will understand & we were fighting so hard & strong to contest this & basically we have & we have done good. Today your mama was in court & was awarded four nights & days custody. This is for the next six weks & then we are all hoping by then it will be your turn to have your day in court & regain your full custody primary carer rights of precious Evelyn. Wont go in to too much on this but you know what we would all be saying & you will learn what we have all done to fight his opportunist evil actions.

Today you had a wonderful visit from Bets, Joss & Lau. You had a great time reading to her even though it makes your eyes so weary but enjoyed every single moment with your little angel. During this visit Kaylea & James Lawson came to see you. All to quickly you were swept off to physio & Kaylea was able to come & join you in your session to document it & get pics. She was teary eyed talking of how amazing you done & how much your physiotherapists praise you & your great strength & willpower. I was in tears hearing this from relief of all the news we received from today & with such happiness for your abilities & immense strength. You really are so amazing babe & are just overwhelming all of us with your courage & actions. James, Lau, Joss & boo went to the cafe for a drink whilst u were in physio but unfortunately your session ran over some what & James had to leave without much time seeing you but he will be back. Kaylea gets giggly talking about this & says he smells amazing haha!! Kaylea has sent me a huge long message on how your therapy was set out & how you did. Here goes; First off you were told off by the therapists for getting up onto the bed too quickly haha. They then started with exercise supporting you to stand, using weight baring techniques & encouraging you to push your left knee backwards & forwards. You did this "amazingly well!" You needed to sit down after a time so the therapists worked on your upper body. You were asked to look in the mirror & watch yourself whilst you lifted your left shoulder up & down. You did this with brilliant technique & movement. You then laid down on the bed & got onto your side yourself adjusting & positioning yourself comfortably on the hand right side. Your therapist who I think is called Sam lifted your left leg & asked you to push back onto her with it. You pushed her very hard in the tummy & she joked that she could of kicked you off the bed & so you pushed into her even harder & you all had a good giggle about how fierce you are!! You then got comfortable on your front & the therapists helped as you had pain in your left shoulder from your fall, numpty* You were asked to raise the lower part of your left leg bending at the knee. You did this well & after Sam lifted your whole leg straight & upwards you were encouraged to do this action yourself but felt you couldnt. They explained that this technique is difficult anyhow as it is going against gravity to lift it upwards & it is harder on your front as your hip flexors are not engaged (well done Kaylea on technical observations!!haha) You have very weak hamstrings & gluteus maximus (bum cheeks haha) on both sides considering you have been bed bound for a fortnight now so the therapists werent concerned & will build the muscle slowly again & regain your strength. They all laughed that it wasnt just your bad leg that you couldnt raise so was dealt with humour & positivity as always with your brilliant carers, nurses & therapists. The therapists then twizzled your toes & feet & would position them in a way & asked you to reflect what way they had pushed them. You were okay at this but they noted that even on your right side to your brain was sending the wrong signals towards feeling on your feet as she would push upwards but you felt it was down etc. They will work on this intensively over the next week or two. They positioned your left arm alongside your body & you were able to raise your shoulder up and down. You also moved your arms out in front of you and were able to push yourself up & arch your back. They were happy with your back & shoulder muscles although they too are weak they were impressed with your mobility. You positioned onto your right side again & Sam put a ball behind your knee & you moved it back and forth able to keep your grip on it constantly. Kaylea cheered you on as they were all very impressed by your leg strength & core here & your therapists said you done super in this activity. You then got into a sitting position & brought your leg & foot upwards. You were asked to speak of your goals & desires. You said you desperately want to be able to walk to the toilet & although its not going to not happen the therapists wanted you to concentrate on smaller daily achievements. They have every faith in that you will walk again regardless but they said thats a long term goal. Also long term goal is your desire to pick something up with your left hand. They asked you to have a goal for tomorrow & you said standing alone. They stood you up right there & then to access what movements they need to encourage & explain what muscles you need to concentrate on, they let go of you to stand alone as they realise you were standing so strong yourself. You stood for OVER A MINUTE ALONE!!!!!!!!! This is fucking mega and we are all so impressed with you babe. Not two weeks ago you were so unwell & now your gaining all this strength & desire again its amazing & we are just so so proud of you babe. Kaylea said that half way through your left leg wobbled & adjusted to make it harder to stand for longer but you kept standing & sat down so proud of yourself & your amazing achievement that you had only just put into words & then actioned out only minutes later. How much more determined can you get!! Your therapists were so so impressed & joked that you needed a new goal again. Sam was brilliant with you & explained that although your recovery will still be a long journey with ups & downs she has confidence you will meet your needs & goals sooner than they first anticipated. Phyio then massaged your left hand & she could feel you putting pressure on her hands. She asked if you could squeeze her hand & although weak was very impressed hun. All very intense & tiring Im sure but you did so amazing darling. You then went back to your bed & were seen by a speech & language therapist who had visited you a week ago & was clearly shocked by your progress from then. She stated that last week you hardly had any expression with your words & speech and very limited eye contact which had really upset you. She was so impressed with the animation in your face & voice when you interacted with her & Kaylea & was very happy with your speech. She left when Sam & Dad turn up for a visit so no rest for you babe, your in such high demand & we all miss you terribly when we dont get to come in everyday. We have to rotate how many times we get to see you to be just fair hehe. I will be in tomorrow I hope depending on how tired you are. It was snowing so hard yesterday that I had to sleep over at mums as too unsafe to drive with Jaspey in the car & so we didnt get to come in to visit either which was so irritating. You had fair few visits yesterday too with your mum, Alli, Charlotte, Alex & Casey coming in after your double therapy sessions. This, plus the court case wiped you out so Im sure you werent too stressed with lack of visitors in the evening but we still all feel worried you may be lonely, bored or unhappy. I hope you promise to tell us genuinely when you want us to leave coz your tired or if you want us to stay longer etc. Back to today, Rachel also joined your troop & then Alli & Lorraine arrived from court to fill you in so everyone else left. Kaylea came straight to mums where we all were as no one but poor Gary had to go into work!! We all whooped & cheered over seeing how elated Kaylea was to of spent brilliant quality time with you & how animated she seemed explaining how you were doing in therapy & emotionally after all you had been dealt with today. She said she was unbelievably proud & impressed by her nut nut & really pleased she got to witness your super strength & determination. "She is one beautiful diamond shining bright!!*" Love & light sweetpea. xxx

Jaspey enjoying snow day** <3<3<3

Forgot to say & yep still cant sleep!! You had 58 STAPLES taken out today!!! wowsa woo, makes me feel dizzy thinking bout that but you said it didnt hurt & isnt sore now, highest pain thresh hold ever!!! Love u angel. MISS U!! xxxxxxx

check those bad boys out, all 58 of the buggers**

Happy Mother's Day darling. We have all been thinking of you today and feel so very glad that you had a special morning with Evelyn. It pretty much exhausted you for the rest of the day but I'm so happy u got some quality time on this lovely day with her. She made you a card at pre-school. More in a bit.....

Kaylea & Gary were the proud godfather & godmother today at Maiyahs baptism. It was a very small group of her close family & ALex's family came over from Italy (they are so lovely & so loud just like Alex!!). The service was beautiful actually & even though it went on for a long time the kids seemed to enjoy it somewhat & they had moments were the kids went to the middle of the church & held hands & had a blessing & then they also went up to get daffodils for their mummys, Jaspey was straight up there for me bless him lil gorgee. What was really special (& made me feel at peace with my thoughts of going to a church service) was that they had a catholic style alter that had burning tea lights infront of it. It was so pretty & me & Kaylea both clocked it & were drawn to the feeling of lighting a candle for you. At the end we went & done this & then the bubbis proudly said "And one for Evelyn mummy!* Nearly cryed lighting it & whisphered a prayer for you, I know nan & gramps heard & will deliver darling :):) Really lovely morning anyhow.

We then had a wonderful afternoon as we had arranged that we all would meet in the Shoreline cafe at 4pm. We got there & you, Joss, Laura & Lorraine were already getting your order. Mum, Joey & Dave were already sat down too. Jaspey and Darcey were so happy to see you & gave you the biggest kisses. Gary gave u a polite kiss on the cheek but I said he had to join the incestuous on the lips gang & so u puckered up to him haha, everyone is feeling the benefits of ur lusciously soft lips!! We sat & had a drink & Kaylea, Nick, Sam & Laura all turned up too. It was so lovely seeing you & your sense of huomour was still on point when the staff said chips couldnt be ordered until 5pm, you said "Go and tell him the cripple wants her chips, I came all the way from my ward to get some bloody chips lol!!" We did but it didnt work, so everyone got some munch at five instead. Sam was cheeky with u as always and pranked you saying "Look over there!" u did, & he stole some chips-your response was classic. "Oh thats right steal from the cripple!!" U are so very fun to be around & uplifting & light, such a brilliant attitude to how most people would assume you'd feel. I have to say my first desperate sadness surrounding your stroke was why Carly, why her?? It is so very unfair & I dont even know if its right to write down these words in fear of triggering your own upset, but just know, we are tested in this life, some more harshly than others. This will push you to gain the strongest independance & self worth. It, i hope, will make you realise how wonderful your life is & how in love with you your family & friends are. Even your Avon clients that we delivered orders to showed such concern & sent huge well wishes when we told them we would be dealing with your Avon account until your better. Strangers in the street not only stare in awe of your individual look, your alternative skin art & funky clothes but look on with such wow at ur stunning dimples & beautiful smile. You really are just so stunning Carly. Dad started the convo of how in every single photo u are flawless, edgy & beautiful beyond measure. We all agree not just to give you a boost but just because, u really are so pretty. And your heart matches your smile. Truley the bestest gorgeous lady & someone I promise to never take for granted again. There i go again all mushy but gotta add a little heart felt blurb in here ay!! The cherubs ran up & down like crazys in the restuarant & only stopped when Joey offered out her homemade vegan cakes she baked you. Bless her shes such a sweetheart & has become quite the baker. She also made us a batch & they were divine. Jasper had a spell on the naughty step which had Sam in hysterics at his lil chubby strop face, he had run off & Joss said No Jaspey this way & he hit Joss, naughty bubb!! He said sorry tho & Jose milked it like a pro recieving a huge hug & kiss after Jasper realises he was upset because of him hitting, hope this isnt going to be an often occurence now. He was just the perfect baby, please piss off terrible two's haha. Evelyn has been a cherub & has been so good for Nanny, Lau & Joss. I miss her when I dont see her each day now as I went a whole week seeing her beaut face. She is just incredible & such a credit to your amazing ways bubb.

You were so exhausted & after taking the piss out of yourself for a good hour you decided it was time for a snooze. We had to get Darcey home too anyhow & didnt wanna out stay our welcome as we were all a little loud & exciteable. You wear your helmet when you are out of bed & on the move & you have already learnt to get it on & off with your right hand. You have to wear this to & from the ward & excited Darcey & Jasper by promising to let them loose painting it for you to make it funky. Ur mum had brought a purple sequined tea cosey hat to see if you wanted to add some style to it, but you didnt, it certainally was not your style, Im on the lookout for some leopard print hats boo. I remeber you or Alli having a leopard print fluffy Kangol number when we were young, dunno why that came out on the page but hey its in my head haha... Laura babys you a bit bless her & worries when you shift position or when your wheeled along by someone other than herself, she is constantly touching you & trying to help but you are pretty fierce in your independance already & she backs off for a bit then starts the sequence all over again, hehe she really cant help it. I expect it feels pretty overwhelming at times having our faces in yours staring, poking & desperate to help. I hope to god you realise we have all felt so helpless in so many ways and so its our way I guess selfishly of feeling like we are Helping You. I have found it truley an outlet writing this blog for you & hope it can be a nice keepsake for you to look back on & see how far you have come from each day documented. Mum has cooked you all sorts & even cracked out the coronation sauce this week, Joey doing her cakes, Dad making you laugh & taking you for a spin (he wont let you mope, hes too up for a spin himself in your wheelchair & helmet as Im sure he thinks he can be reckless & the helmet will save him haha). Kaylea has become a chauffer, entrapenuer, dancer, singer & beautition this week & is actually seriously good at hot selling Avon to us all lol!! The boys of course just add humour & your family have held your hand every single step of the way with there pulses beating on your finger tips, connected beyond any level we will ever fathom. Your all fighters, your all so strong. And I have to say seeing your mum not only add herself to facebook but write sweet words for her amazing girly is pretty darn heartwarming. We all have the essence of that divine Nanny Light in us & it has shone through to give us all positives to stick with through ur trauma. Palms to the sky for that mama** Love & light honey bee**

Shine bright like a diamond!!! 

Lorraine joked that she lost so much weight she had to go buy new underwear in a smaller size haha!!! & joeys vegan cakes, bless her cute toot!!

I came to see you this evening. I wanted to bring the bubbas & Gary was so eager to visit too but you had a very tiring day & had a fall, wally mama!! So we decided it be best just I came tonight. You were pretty sleepy but seemed so happy (we all know why missi moo*) Mum & Joey were there too when I got to you. We over stayed visiting times but luckily as we were quiet & ur nurses are lovely we didnt get into trouble. I hate to think of you bored & alone if Im honest. Im sure id hate it & i so want to be able to tag team it up and we all spend a night by ur side each week. If only I was loaded, you would have ur own room bubb : / ** You had a visit from lil smoosh pie today, I think you said after lunchtime (she had her time with Roger 8-12) She threw a wobbly this morning for your mama as she didnt want to go to daddys, she wanted to be with you at the hospital. This doesnt surprise me, you & her, your just the best little team. I can only imagine how much you miss her but know she is cuddled too much too often & we always talk about what she spoke about with mummy, I know she misses you babe thats obvious but she isnt sad, she is patient for her mummys return & delighted in seeing you often. She is so unfazed by your scars & change of appearence, she doesnt care because she see's your heart first, we all do. She doesnt ever want to leave you but knows it is important to feed pip & let Molly in from the garden so she reassured you that she will do these & be back mummy!! Bless her* I have had such amazing chats with some of our mutual friends & its amazing how many people hide how in awe of you they are, they almost feel vunerable to tell you ur strength inspires them & makes them love you more. I may not always say the right thing or what you wanna hear in this blog but I will always for sure say I have always been so happy to be your family, your friend & have been so inspired by you as a mummy** You are incredible as one of my bestest friends & I love you dearly Rhubarb, always**

You have your phone & laptop on you now & manage to get wifi on your mobile which is great. You had been watching David Attenborough documentaries this morning & you can now see all the support & well wishes you have been recieving on facebook & just stay in the loop a bit. We talked about how you havent had real air for two weeks now & how surreal this is, you are being so patient & upbeat about your condition & I so hope your not just being brave. I feel that through all of this I have learnt a huge lesson in how deep & strong my family is & no matter how fragile your body is your mind is your strength. That is why you are so inspiring because your words to me the other day were "Well you can either laugh or cry, and I dont like crying!!" So matter of fact & motivated. You are doing so so well babe. You havent had physio today as its the weekend. You did decided however to do some exercise & managed to fall you wombat!! Stef came into see you & you had been in your wheelchair eating lunch when she arrived. She noticed you were tired & tried to help you on the bed but you didnt tell her that you are to go right on right & managed to flop your left side on the bed but didnt get enough on & ended up a heap on the floor. Not funny of course but maybe a little bit seeming as once I saw you tonight your actually fine :) The best thing about today is that although the fall was a bit of a shock & trauma you can FEEL pain in your left arm! And you exclaimed so excitedly that if you really concentrate u can move your fingers. Unbelieavble news, no words to describe how elated this makes us all. I have no doubts with you recovering to full form, your such a fighter, I know you dont always believe this & dont always display this either but the strength you posess is incredible Carly, you are a true inspiration. Will write this in every post until it registers as seriously cannot think of any new word to describe you haha! Apart from beautiful actually, you looked so beautiful tonight. Your skin has so much colour, your cheeks were pink, I massaged your hands & arms & your tattoos are so wonderfully colourful, so pretty** Your new hair cut would make most people appear manic but you are so stunningly pretty you even pull of butcher Alli's makeover!! I love you so much darling. Im just in awe of your courage tonight. Stay strong sweetpea. Love & light**

photo of boo obsessed with the soap msged from nanny :)

Cant sleep, heres a video I just figured out how to make on my laptop** love you boo. So so much. Its times like this you realise how true your family & friends are!! 143**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6vEDbRrG8