I am bummed as havent been able to get to see you in chichester yet. Its my long week at work & still cant bloody drive so all a mission but yaya im seeing you tomoro, was gonna come up on train but Kaylea is off & asked to join us so next week me & boo will do an adventure on the train too as he would love it. i will update more on here when I see you as dont have many details form your first few days in there yet. I know you were hoping to ride something today but turns out it was a bike!! Not a metephor for gigilo but hey ho that can wait! If not i'll sneak you a bullet in haha! Im so excited to see you & I wanna be in one time on watching you in physio, I'll need to get to you early but as coming with Kaylea that prob wont happen tom ;) We had a twinny day today as just needed some uplifting fun energy & we walked from sealane cafe to blue birds cafe, we had so much fun but bloody hell it was freezing & actually took us an hour each way to walk. Jasper & Roxy were bloody shattered hehe. But we fought pirates, played hide n seek in a forest, done sportacus jumps & handstands & basically acted like kids & was so much fun. We will do this route with you & smoosh in the summer for sure. Update more info tom anyhow boo. Love & light

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYYnWH-ZuwQ&list=WLbvnCJcOtW9SG_Sp9ctNq4-YW1jLdFfdD

look how much jaspey enjoyed his cake today :)

I keep doing this. Its 12am & I have stuff to say...insomniac :(  So alot has happened again in these few days. Its tuesday 19th, nearly wednesday. Last post was four days ago & you are moving so fast that each day is so very different but its so hard to keep up as Im back at work now after my three weeks holiday!! Saturday you were extremely bored & gettin ansy so Lorraine, Joey & Kaylea arranged for you to be at the cafe for 12pm & if people could just show up then was a free for all so you could not feel so cabin fevered inside the ward. I had an ill bug Jasper sleeping thru terrible teething pain, his right top tooth at the back decided to break thru and come most of the way down within two days!! No fun** So i was stuck in with him as Gary was working but all the fam came over. Sunday was he same set up but for half two which was awesome as I finished work at two & was sad I was gonna miss you again if it was at twelve. Lucky me. So many people turned up. All our fam & Char & Alex with Maiyah & Marielle & Adam with Corey. So lovely. All the kids running around wasnt hectic it was animated & happy** Seeing Bets baby Corey & hold Maiyahs hand was just adorable. She is just so in love with her Jaspey boo to & kept squeezing him & if he talks a sentance clearly to her she almost gets annoyed that hes too grown up just like I do haha** She was so happy to see Gary too bless her they have some special little bond those two!! We had to take it in turns to get the seat next to you & it was totes two second rule on that one!! I managed to get a few moments with you :):) Managed to have a giggle & a kiss. Weve moved back to cheeks now just incase half your visitors feel their okay in lip kisses too, uh uh uh!! You are getting frustrated at having to wear your helmet when your out of bed, it is itchy & hard on your scar & makes you hot. I wish we could come up with a solution but for now this is your world & the frustrations are starting to show now. I worry for this, I worry( we all do) about what happens when you start questioning why you?? There is never going to be a logical answer. But on my lonesome visit with you that I was so casually in luck with we spoke about this. I heard a Dr say that after all the stresses you have had in these few years it seems some what that maybe your brain decided for your physical to reboot, restart & re connect. Pretty harsh way in reality but maybe for you words to hold on to. He was upbeat in his delivery of this hard knock approach!! I dont think its fair, none of us do even people who have supported me, my friends, their mums, their friends, they have all said its unfair. So many people know you Carly. So many people know of your journey & are stopping me to tell me how unbelievably brave & strong you are to deal with this all with your huge smile still on your face. Your beauty still radiating.  I fucking love you & am so in awe of you beaut. You have always had an extra quality about u, never really distinct enough to put a name on. Keep shining bright honey, shine bright like a diamond!!*

Back to my visit with you. Saturday evening I broke away from bath & bed time for boo in the hope you would need company & wanna see a make up free greasy me!! I walked in slowly as you were laid down back to me on your left like you have to be. I was going to simply kiss you whilst you slept but your eyes sprang open & you insisted I stayed as you were so bloody bored so was trying to force sleep to get out of boredom. This breaks my heart that I didnt show up sooner, that I cant stay until late as being a night owl Id just sit & be with you if you slept anyhow & be there if you woke. I got you connected with your wifi again so we could perve on you know who* Hes lush by the way & totally not what I expected, a bloody decent looking guy with no weird beard or piercings! Ha, over that thirty mark and your getting normal on us!!! (jokes*) I just sat with you whilst you typed messages & we googled Donald Wilson house

(okay had to pause & put my hands over my ears, couldnt find the remote & brokeback mountain is on & jut witnessed a very graphic scene "prude")

Back to you. Monday you left Worthing hospital early for Donald Wilson house. Its a neourolgical rehabilitation centre on site of St Richards Hospital in Chichester. (Not too far but a little too far if that makes sense, I miss you!!) Lorraine followed you to settle you in. You are on a ward with a quadraplegic lady who is your age. Ive yet to see your room so will detail all that in another post after Ive seen you, its hard to get info of everyone now we all go at spontaneous times. You will be doing intensive therapy sessions here each day & it has a hydro therapy pool which will be great for you to gain great balance & posture babe. Kaylea came & saw you today. She said the centre is really nice. Lorraine has been down with Evelyn all afternoon & she took you outside & smoosh jumped on the tree trunks & enjoyed her time with mama. So precious. Bloody amazing news today too that Roger has decided he will resume custody as it was before & so all of the stresses of court & fears were for nothing, again just silly games. But this blog is for wise words so enough of him. Will update when i see you about what Donald Wilson house is all about honey. Sleep well angel, Love & light xxx

AWESOMNESS< "SPONGE BOB STROKEY"...

look at the videos they have surrounded this vid with hahahahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBE3p1JU_4g

Last night I was pretty wiped so didnt post. I had watched the video Allison uploaded of you walking and to be honest it was just bloody emotional I got myself exhausted by crying!! Silly huh but the overwhelming pride, love & happiness just combusted out of me** I hear from Lau that you will be showing Evelyn your steps in a bit, how exciting she will be your lil cutie cheerleader. She is at school today & will see you after. I know the girls & ur mum were in this morning as I saw the car in my drive. I still dont have curtains up in my room & keep forgetting to not walk around in my granny pants & vest with my crazy morning hair!! I was prancing around the other morning & just spotted Alli sat in her car gettin her bag ready to come into you, I fell to the floor embarrassed coz she so totally would have seen me if she had looked up, maybe she saw me before I saw her, haha!?!?

Me & Joey came into you last night & Dad, Kaylea, Katy Mapes & Beaks were there too. You looked so radiant & strong & not as tired as you have been. We had a laugh all touching your spongey squidge side of your scalp, its like a water bed, so bloody cool haha. Katy & Joey cringed but did it coz you told them too haha! Joey also licked a peanut butter cracker even though she is disgusted by peanuts & nearly threw up, again she did this as a dare coz you told her too haha! You were on form funny! You were thinking of new nicknames for yourself, the funniest being Sponge bob Strokey!! "Dont u go stroking on me!" (jim Carey voice of course!!) Haha how you come up with this is beyond me, you just have totally embraced that this has happened to you & not showing any anger or negativity which is bloody strength of an army right there. You are so brilliant Rhubarb!! <3 <3

We read through all your cards (all 53 of them!! miss popular) & were giggling away at some memories people included. Carries admission of your thieving at Garrets on your £1.50 an hr wage haha & Charlottes lovely essay including the day we came over & Evelyn wouldnt sleep & you went in to check her & she was picking sock fluff out of her toes & putting it in her minnie mouse bag, I had forgotten this & was hysterical giggling remembering it** You had physio today & walked a short length of the hallway & also backwards again, Dave called that moonwalking :) You did it all with the most gorgeous smile & Alli put it on facebook & you had so many comments of support & love. Your just doing so brilliantly. Jaspers napping just now but Im gonna show him the vid when he wakes. He had his settle morning at his new pre-school today & absolutely loved it. His friend Hayden goes there & they hugged & him & these two other boys all held hands & took Jaspey to go play. So bloody cute* You had the Occupational therapist in to see you today whilst you showered so she could teach you techniques to adapt to help you in every day life. Alli helped & the OT also showed Alli ways to help you use your left arm & hand. Your speech & language therapist came in too & said your improvements are remarkable. She said your vocabulary & intonation are great & an improvemnet on last week (which she said last week was brilliant!!) I was going to pop in with Jaspey today but he is still asleep (pre-school wiped him out!) & I know your nan is in just now & Lorraine is bringing boo in after school so I will come in tomorrow instead. Yesterday I forgot to say you have this new contraption that you put your left arm in when you eat & it mirrors your actions of your right arm & hand & makes your brain remember & register the same actions to prompt your left side again :) very cool little invention!!

Okay few hours later now after I wrote the first bit of this post. Ive found out that this morning you walked forward & back three times the length of the corridor!!! You are bloody brilliant, such an incredible achievement, bloody hell. Superstar!!

Alli sent me some pics of your physio therapy session. She has been in on quite a few of them now & so enjoyed helping you. Laura & Lorraine came to see you walking today also. Proudest family ever** You txt everyone just now also to say you are being moved to Chichester on Monday, much sooner than thought but all your progress & plans have accelarated since the doctors realised how determined & able you are :) Love u darling, night night. Love & light**

note how different your Patient chart is from last pic! Full diet baby**

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151541762145610

words cannot convey the overwhelming love I feel watching this. Your true smile, your amazing body & mind working so hard. You are one determined mama & we are all crazy happy & excited for this moment!! Unbelievable babe. Love u so so much from us all :):) xxxx

Me & Jasper came over to see you briefly today to bring you some fruit & mainly because we saw a neenaw (ambulance) & Jaspey kept asking to "see Carly in the neenaw house!!" He was so sleepy from nursery but as soon as I said we were going to see you for a flying visit his energy perked up. He held tight to your pot of fruit we cut up together & off we went. Your still on Botolphs ward Acute stroke unit & there is just one other lady in your bay at the moment so it should be nice & quiet but unfortunatley some old guy (who totally stole your room for having diaharea) was extremely loud shouting, moaning & groaning & you had had to put up with it all night so you were pretty sleepy. Again huge news today. In physio you walked five steps forward & then five steps backwards!!!!!! AMAZING! Haha and theres Sam sayin to you just yesterday that walking to the toilet is a long term goal to look forward too, your like screw that I'll show them huh! Your so amazing babe & we are again so very proud & in tears of such hope & happiness for you. Shine bright....shine bright like a diamond!! :):)

When we arrived Lorraine, Alli, Lau & the kiddi's were with you. Evelyn was in a strop but cheered up massively once she saw her Jaspey boo. She invited him up on your bed to help open all your cards your mum had brought in. You had recieved these over the weeks at yours & ur mums house & they just kept coming!! So overwhelming how loved you are babe. Evelyn had been at nursery this morning & then with you after therapy but Lau & Lorraine said she was having a testing day, she will, & they understand. Its all consuming but you are doing such a good job still making sure she remembers her manners & kindness to make you proud.

 We only stayed a short time as you were tired & we were naughty actually & had come in at dinner time for you as I knew Jasper wouldnt last til after six without being grouchy. You has jascket potato & beans which seems to be a standard, Id like to say Id cook you meals & bring them in but I suck at cooking so going to look in brighton on Saturday for some Whole foods packs I can heat up & just bring to you hun. And im still on the hunt for those free from biscuits with coconut you asked for last week. You are having a visitor free night as you need your rest & Lorraine, Lau & Evelyn were coming back to you after you had had a moment to yourself so they could get smoosh some food in the cafe. Love u so much honey bunch, stay strong. You are doing so amazingly well & anyone I relay good news too is in such igh spirits & awe of your strengths gorgeous girl. We love you darling. Love & Light xxx

jaspey enjoying the statues outside hospital :)

 Last night we were asked to leave you be to become accustomed to the news of what Roger has done this week. Im sorry beyond belief that we couldnt tell you sooner & we all feel so terrible that we have been forced to lie to you but I know you will understand & we were fighting so hard & strong to contest this & basically we have & we have done good. Today your mama was in court & was awarded four nights & days custody. This is for the next six weks & then we are all hoping by then it will be your turn to have your day in court & regain your full custody primary carer rights of precious Evelyn. Wont go in to too much on this but you know what we would all be saying & you will learn what we have all done to fight his opportunist evil actions.

Today you had a wonderful visit from Bets, Joss & Lau. You had a great time reading to her even though it makes your eyes so weary but enjoyed every single moment with your little angel. During this visit Kaylea & James Lawson came to see you. All to quickly you were swept off to physio & Kaylea was able to come & join you in your session to document it & get pics. She was teary eyed talking of how amazing you done & how much your physiotherapists praise you & your great strength & willpower. I was in tears hearing this from relief of all the news we received from today & with such happiness for your abilities & immense strength. You really are so amazing babe & are just overwhelming all of us with your courage & actions. James, Lau, Joss & boo went to the cafe for a drink whilst u were in physio but unfortunately your session ran over some what & James had to leave without much time seeing you but he will be back. Kaylea gets giggly talking about this & says he smells amazing haha!! Kaylea has sent me a huge long message on how your therapy was set out & how you did. Here goes; First off you were told off by the therapists for getting up onto the bed too quickly haha. They then started with exercise supporting you to stand, using weight baring techniques & encouraging you to push your left knee backwards & forwards. You did this "amazingly well!" You needed to sit down after a time so the therapists worked on your upper body. You were asked to look in the mirror & watch yourself whilst you lifted your left shoulder up & down. You did this with brilliant technique & movement. You then laid down on the bed & got onto your side yourself adjusting & positioning yourself comfortably on the hand right side. Your therapist who I think is called Sam lifted your left leg & asked you to push back onto her with it. You pushed her very hard in the tummy & she joked that she could of kicked you off the bed & so you pushed into her even harder & you all had a good giggle about how fierce you are!! You then got comfortable on your front & the therapists helped as you had pain in your left shoulder from your fall, numpty* You were asked to raise the lower part of your left leg bending at the knee. You did this well & after Sam lifted your whole leg straight & upwards you were encouraged to do this action yourself but felt you couldnt. They explained that this technique is difficult anyhow as it is going against gravity to lift it upwards & it is harder on your front as your hip flexors are not engaged (well done Kaylea on technical observations!!haha) You have very weak hamstrings & gluteus maximus (bum cheeks haha) on both sides considering you have been bed bound for a fortnight now so the therapists werent concerned & will build the muscle slowly again & regain your strength. They all laughed that it wasnt just your bad leg that you couldnt raise so was dealt with humour & positivity as always with your brilliant carers, nurses & therapists. The therapists then twizzled your toes & feet & would position them in a way & asked you to reflect what way they had pushed them. You were okay at this but they noted that even on your right side to your brain was sending the wrong signals towards feeling on your feet as she would push upwards but you felt it was down etc. They will work on this intensively over the next week or two. They positioned your left arm alongside your body & you were able to raise your shoulder up and down. You also moved your arms out in front of you and were able to push yourself up & arch your back. They were happy with your back & shoulder muscles although they too are weak they were impressed with your mobility. You positioned onto your right side again & Sam put a ball behind your knee & you moved it back and forth able to keep your grip on it constantly. Kaylea cheered you on as they were all very impressed by your leg strength & core here & your therapists said you done super in this activity. You then got into a sitting position & brought your leg & foot upwards. You were asked to speak of your goals & desires. You said you desperately want to be able to walk to the toilet & although its not going to not happen the therapists wanted you to concentrate on smaller daily achievements. They have every faith in that you will walk again regardless but they said thats a long term goal. Also long term goal is your desire to pick something up with your left hand. They asked you to have a goal for tomorrow & you said standing alone. They stood you up right there & then to access what movements they need to encourage & explain what muscles you need to concentrate on, they let go of you to stand alone as they realise you were standing so strong yourself. You stood for OVER A MINUTE ALONE!!!!!!!!! This is fucking mega and we are all so impressed with you babe. Not two weeks ago you were so unwell & now your gaining all this strength & desire again its amazing & we are just so so proud of you babe. Kaylea said that half way through your left leg wobbled & adjusted to make it harder to stand for longer but you kept standing & sat down so proud of yourself & your amazing achievement that you had only just put into words & then actioned out only minutes later. How much more determined can you get!! Your therapists were so so impressed & joked that you needed a new goal again. Sam was brilliant with you & explained that although your recovery will still be a long journey with ups & downs she has confidence you will meet your needs & goals sooner than they first anticipated. Phyio then massaged your left hand & she could feel you putting pressure on her hands. She asked if you could squeeze her hand & although weak was very impressed hun. All very intense & tiring Im sure but you did so amazing darling. You then went back to your bed & were seen by a speech & language therapist who had visited you a week ago & was clearly shocked by your progress from then. She stated that last week you hardly had any expression with your words & speech and very limited eye contact which had really upset you. She was so impressed with the animation in your face & voice when you interacted with her & Kaylea & was very happy with your speech. She left when Sam & Dad turn up for a visit so no rest for you babe, your in such high demand & we all miss you terribly when we dont get to come in everyday. We have to rotate how many times we get to see you to be just fair hehe. I will be in tomorrow I hope depending on how tired you are. It was snowing so hard yesterday that I had to sleep over at mums as too unsafe to drive with Jaspey in the car & so we didnt get to come in to visit either which was so irritating. You had fair few visits yesterday too with your mum, Alli, Charlotte, Alex & Casey coming in after your double therapy sessions. This, plus the court case wiped you out so Im sure you werent too stressed with lack of visitors in the evening but we still all feel worried you may be lonely, bored or unhappy. I hope you promise to tell us genuinely when you want us to leave coz your tired or if you want us to stay longer etc. Back to today, Rachel also joined your troop & then Alli & Lorraine arrived from court to fill you in so everyone else left. Kaylea came straight to mums where we all were as no one but poor Gary had to go into work!! We all whooped & cheered over seeing how elated Kaylea was to of spent brilliant quality time with you & how animated she seemed explaining how you were doing in therapy & emotionally after all you had been dealt with today. She said she was unbelievably proud & impressed by her nut nut & really pleased she got to witness your super strength & determination. "She is one beautiful diamond shining bright!!*" Love & light sweetpea. xxx

Jaspey enjoying snow day** <3<3<3