Love is healing*

So darling Carly, I whimsically decided after the 24 hours from the news of your trauma that I would create a blog dedicated to you & Evelyn, to inform you really of what your little angel has been up whilst you were away. I want you to not miss a thing and not feel fear for her & to document the support u & her have from us & will have from many. Its beyond surreal & heartbreaking that I even write these words that you have had a stroke. Typing this & seeing it on a screen with the cursor flashing by those words I pause & hurt & am still very much stunned and in shock. You have been so very strong today. A physio came to see you and u managed to move every limb slowly and weak but very much a movement that the physio could detect, this was amazing to hear. You are having hourly observations & are on specific medications & the stroke team are from what I hear so very good & thorough. Laura & Joss came to see you too & even though u are so fatigued you managed to communicate with Laura that you were uncomfortable with your feet covered up in blankets, sisterly bond & instinct but Laura knew that would bother you as soon as she saw it & u managed to tell her babe. My brain is scattered so this may fall randomly on the page but bare with me. Evelyn & Laura slept in this morning, something smoosh never does with you huh!! Alli was with them & they entertained themselves, had food & dressed & then we all turned up to your house to be with one another, the bond so magically united & feeling so overwhelming that we all feel such shock & turmoil but we can still hold one another with courage, positivity and much much light. Grace was there also when I arrived & the girls were making pictures for you on old envelopes & Evelyn was doodling & saying what she was writing aloud, her words were, "love u mummy you silly woll falling off the stairs!". Her explanation to me was silly mummy was running thats why we shouldnt run on the stairs as we might fall and the policeman will take you to hospital, she was having none of it that they were actually paramedics treating you. The girls were so content with being together so that felt good. Your mum came home from the hospital & to update everyone so I took Evelyn & Grace to the shops to treat them to a peppa pig magazine & starburst* We done jumping games & slow motion running all the way home & the girls giggled so brightly. They got a little net & bugs with there magazines so they played with those a while & done stickering. Then they had some snacks, all naughty bar the grapes really but hey ho. Then we put Pinocchio on & hearing the girls trying to say Pinocchio really did lift everyone for a moment. They just could not get it & Evelyns cherub soft voice was just so animated knowing she was making us laugh & Grace relished in entertaining everyone but genuinally could not say it. We had a few zoney moments so us girls, Lau, Joss, Kaylea & Nick all snuggled on your sofa with the leopard print blanket & talked about pinocchio & colours we knew. Grace helped me make tea & coffee whilst Evelyn enjoyed cuddles with Nick, he really is very good with her bless him. Then Lells came home from school & was very distracted by my ipad & was so for the whole afternoon which was fine as he too was very sleepy & quiet. Then it was coats, hats & scarves on again to go pick up Jasper from nursery. Evelyn was so excited & kept saying my Jaspey boo* Dad came with us & chucked the girls in the air & pretended they were rockets until he was sweaty!! Then all the bubbas walked home holding hands & giggling. They got straight in & played so gently & nicely even though they were cranky tired by this point but refusing rest. Somehow Evelyn managed to hide from Grace under dads jumper, it was so amusing & the girls took turns in hiding up dads jumper, it was good fun for them especially when they saw how stretched they had made Uncle Mart's jumper hehe. Evelyn needed the toilet so I sat on the stairs talking with her whilst she went & we spoke about why Jasper doesnt get to go to her big girl school. She is so very sweet about her Jaspey & melts my heart. We then went & got her bag ready for a fun sleepover with Laulau & Jossy wossy (her words)* She picked her clothes & they were so co-ordinated, too cute. She was so fine with going to Laura & Joss's, shes been such a good girl all day & has given amazing big cuddles & tisses. She ate so well at dinner time that she finished her whole plate of pasta that my mum cooked, all the kids cleared their plates & got high fives & Evelyn had a swollen little belly over her tights. She happily said her goodbyes & went off to Lau's. Alli is with you tonight & they will still be doing the hourly observations. Its a stress as you need sleep and are so fatigued but you also need the obs too. I hope you sleep well honey. I hope you can imagine how much love we are sending & how nans way has shaped us to be the most amazingly courageous, strong family. You will get through this, we are all with you every step. The what ifs dont matter & the injustice & anger that this has effected you can wait, for now, we are all with you, we are controlling the situation so well really. Joss has been so unbelievably amazing, a hero for sure, Alli's strength is an inspiration but we know she too needs comfort. We are all devastated of course & that doesnt even need to be written, its a given, but we haved found strength in Evelyns cheery smile & the positive news we are getting every few hours. Your mum has been with you but needs to rest tonight, your dad came also & Laura has shown her huge strength through her immense pain. U are her best friend, her everything, and she even told me "she's my one, shes my best friend, my everything. Were so close shes even seen my minnie & put her finger in my bottom!!" Its been an odd day Carly & a very painful one. We love you. I love you. Love & light to you sweetheart**